Climbing Our Mountain

Life would be so much easier if we could just go from point A to point B without any bumps in the road.  At the same time, the detours bring the best scenery and memories.  There is a song that has been playing in the background of my mind this week.  It's called Beautiful Heartbreak by Hilary Weeks.

Brad seemed to be getting better and better every day and after 3 really great days (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) we were feeling pretty optimistic about being better sooner than later.  Then Monday came (those darn Mondays!). Monday night we were trying to get dinner together, the kids were hungry and we were all tired.  It was very similar to the night of the first panic attack.  A couple of bites in, Brad felt his anxiety quickly start to rise.  It was scary, it shook our confidence in the progress we felt we were making and it was physically and emotionally draining.  BUT, Brad was able to use the coping skills he's been learning and did not go into a full blown panic attack.  It took about three hours but he did it!! Two days later it happened again at dinnertime and he was able to get through it in about 30 minutes!  In the moment it feels like we're in a landslide but when we pull back and look at the big picture he's doing so great!  I had originally titled this post "Three steps forward, two steps back" but after listening to the song I shared I had to change it.  We're not sliding back at all.  We're just working on that mountain in the middle of the road, excited for the beautiful view we know we're going to find at the top.